Confession: I have never been the type of girl who has her shit together. Oh, I LOOK like I have my shit together. I’m the organized one in RTDFW (Rooster Teeth DFW, a fan community in which I’m a leader – we plan fun events and stuff, and have made new friends). My school notes are impeccable, complete with different colored pens and highlighters. I use a homework app, and my email has several folders that I sort them into.
In actuality, I very much do not have my shit together. It took me this long just to find a career that I want to pursue, and have figured out different ways to showcase my talent and abilities. My instructors in my introductory classes at college have helped a lot. I’m taking a class called Education Alternative, which is a mandatory one credit hour class for those on academic probation. The instructor is absolutely incredible. I had my last advisor meeting with her this morning, and she nearly made me cry when she basically told me that she knew I could accomplish great things. I’ve never been told I have motivation before, and to hear it from an instructor whose job it is to try to get students to get their shit together meant a lot to me. I’m baking cookies for her before our last class on Thursday.
My other instructor, for Learning Frameworks, is very into the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He talks about vision boards, quality world, all that kind of stuff that, to be honest, I rolled my eyes at initially. I’m not one of those motivational speaker types, although I do spend a ridiculous amount of time watching TED Talks. My favorite is by Caroline Casey: “When you really believe in yourself and everything about you, it’s extraordinary what happens.”
When I’m feeling down, I come back to this TED Talk. My problem has been that I’ve never really believed in myself. I’ve always thought of myself as too loud, too scatterbrained, too fat, too tomboyish, too whatever, when in actuality I just am who I am. I might be all of those things, but I’m more than that.
So when my instructor talked about vision boards today, I thought that I could utilize this space. It might not be interesting. It might not be relevant to you. What it will be, though, is something that will hold me accountable. He always says that if you don’t talk about your goals and your quality world, they won’t come to fruition because you’re not holding yourself accountable.
Step one is going to be getting my shit together. My apartment is disorganized and cluttered. I like a little clutter, because it looks lived in and not like a creepy model home, but I’ve let it go too far. I don’t plan my meals. I don’t exercise as often as I should, because let’s face it, I’d rather sit around and play video games. I tell myself I don’t have time to exercise, but that’s a load of shit, if I’m being honest. I don’t have a sleep schedule – naturally I won’t be able to go to bed at the same time every single night, but it would help if most nights, I could at least make an attempt to go to bed before midnight (she says as she types this post at 3:30am).
So here is a list of what I plan to accomplish by the end of April. No big goals here, just small, achievable things that will make me happy when I can put a little check mark next to them:
- exercise for at least five minutes a day (you have to start small, after all)
- plan at least three days worth of meals a week, and don’t stray from it
- create one recipe a week for my upcoming YouTube cooking channel
- drink the appropriate amount of water every day (this shouldn’t be hard, honestly, I think I already do this but I’ll keep better track)
- purge my apartment of anything unnecessary, and properly clean it at least once a week
- to accompany the above, fold my fucking laundry. I almost never fold my laundry when it’s done, even though I know I should.